Critical reading for Independent thinkers-Codependent No More book review
Outside of political opinions, Independent thinkers must be independent in all areas of their lives. Besides our desire to be entertained, relationships present the biggest hurdle for humans to be codependent from. To be codependent specifically in relationships isn’t only counterproductive but detrimental. Capitalism and Hollywood thrive off presenting codependency as normal. Rom coms, soap operas, and erotic novels wouldn’t be so popular if codependency wasn’t indoctrinated into the fabric of our society. Social media, sports, and other forms of entertainment are all distractions we had to learn over time to use. Human bonding on the other hand is the most impulsive and ensures the survival of the human race. All the more reason why we must learn to catch ourselves becoming co-dependent. Critical reading for Independent thinkers-Codependent No More book review.
“Now in her forties, Marlyss is an attractive woman-when she takes care of herself. Most of the time, however, she’s busy taking care of her five children and her husband, who is a recovering alcoholic. She devoted her life to making them happy, but she didn’t succeed. Usually, she feels angry and unappreciated for her efforts, and her family feels angry at her. She has sex with her husband whenever he wants, regardless of how she feels. She spends too much of the family’s budget on toys and clothing for the children whatever they want. She chauffeurs, reads to, cooks for, cleans for, cuddles and coddles those around her, but nobody gives to her. Most of the time, they don’t even say, “Thank you.” Marlyss resents her constant giving to people in her life. She resents how her family and their needs control her life. She chose nursing as her profession, and she often resents that.”
“”But I feel guilty when I don’t do what’s asked of me. I feel guilty when I don’t live up to my standards for a wife and a mother. I feel guilty when I don’t live up to other people’s standards for me. I just plain feel guilty,” she sai. “In fact, ” she added, “I schedule my day, my priorities, according to guilt.””
Does endlessly taking care of other people, resenting it, and expecting nothing in return mean Marlyss is a good wife and mother? Or could it mean Marlss is codependent?”
Melody Beattie- Codependent No More
When we feel that we’re responsible for other able-bodied people, essentially were running away from ourselves. Often times true love is giving someone the freedom to improve on their own rather than enable them. We haven’t learned how to walk the thin line between enabling and being independent. Once we develop a relationship with ourselves, it becomes easier to not be Codependent No more. Author Melody Beattie’s Introduction is familiar to us all. “Yet these codependents who had such great insight into others couldn’t see themselves”. Beattie informs us of her own codependency not just on people but on alcohol and drugs. As she attended 12-step meetings and therapy she reached an epiphany. The codependents are sicker than the alcoholics. Media and social work only focused on helping the alcohol and drug abusers. There were no spaces for codependents, which only caused society to become, more codependent. Check our Robert Greene book review of the laws of human nature for another great mental self-help book.
“They haven’t cornered the market on agony, but they have gone through their pain without the anesthetizing effects of alcohol or other drugs..and the pain that comes from loving someone who’s in trouble can be profound.”
Melody Beattie-Codpendent No More
Beattie goes on to tell us that we’re distracting ourselves by saving toxic people because we’re not used to having peace in our lives. Peace doesn’t sell newspapers, movies, or novels, unfortunately, but it is most definitely rewarding.
“We are just used to so much turmoil and excitement that peace seems bland at first. We’ll get used to it. As we develop our lives, see t our goals, and find things to do that interest us, peace will become comfortable-more comfortable than chaos. We will no longer need nor desire excited misery”
Melody Beattiep-Codependent No More
In conclusion, Beattie’s Codependent No More is a must-read for ALL free thinkers. Being an independent thinker goes above and being political opinions. It is a way of life. This GEM of a book will hold a mirror up to the worst aspects of yourself that you want to hide. But acknowledging and realizing what you don’t like about yourself is the first step to fixing it. If you’re tired of getting into bad or unhealthy relationships. Or you feel empowered when others depend on you, this book is for you. Buy it here and buy it now.
What areas? of your life are you co-dependent? Let us know in the comment section below.