Why millennials and sports fanatics love the coronavirus
Usually, the outbreak of a virus brings global panic that triggers OCD in everyone. Yesterday, with a population of 60 million, Italy became the first nation to lockdown due to the Coronavirus. With over 100,000 people infected and 4,000 deaths worldwide, the concern is warranted. So why do you secretly love the Coronavirus?
The virus is more transmissible than the flu. However, a slight cough and discomfort in the throat turn deadly once it reaches the lungs. The respiratory system and other organs begin to shut down.Â
Those most at risk are anyone 6o and over—baby boomers, which the millennials and liberals can’t wait to die off.Â
Baby boomers blame millennials for milking the system and vice versa. Millennials want equality yet can’t wait to put baby boomers in nursing homes. Baby boomers feel that Millennials are spoiled, entitled, and lazy. Millennials want a revolution and a new world to replace the “patriarchy.”
What better revolution than the one you don’t have to fight or take the blame for?Â
“The old racist people are just going to have to die off,” they can’t be saved. While this statement may be true, it’s a common belief of the younger generation.
You may feel that this article is satire and a weak attempt at humor. Then ask yourself why are people racist towards Chinese due to the virus? Ageism and racism aren’t that far apart; discrimination is discrimination right Millenials?. While boomers outspoken racism isn’t acceptable, it’s more admirable than closet racism hiding behind political correctness.
Imagine a crazy liberal going into the house of congress, spraying a bottle of coronavirus infecting the old mascots of patriarchy. It sounds like something out of a movie until it becomes a reality, like ghost towns right now. Truth is stranger than fiction.
Ironically, ghost towns are ideal environments for millennial liberals. For one reason, social anxiety. An overwhelming number of millennials don’t see the value in human interaction anyway. What better excuse to stay in the house than a global pandemic via the coronavirus?
Everything is damn near purchased online anyway, including food. Eliminating grocery shopping would be a huge plus, too many people.
At this point, the only virus to worry about is through the computer. Putting the phone on airplane mode is too tempting, but what if people think I’ve contracted the coronavirus and died? Now you have a real reason to use social media. Now the old-timers will see the value in the internet and cell phone use.
We can distract ourselves even more with entertainment now, After we finish our classes online, of course. Doctors will be able to use A.I. to diagnose if something happens to you as well. Â
For the last 20 years, we thought technology was progressing the evolution of society. When in reality, it’s prepared us to be prisoners in our own homes. Don’t drop the cell phone.
With no barbed wire fences, k9’s, men with rifles on watchtowers, or correctional officers.
Also, we can’t forget about you sports fanatics. While the virus may empty the NBA arenas, the games will still be on t.v., which could potentially lead to a bigger t.v. Deal than David sterns in the 1990s, which revolutionized the NBA. As a result, players will get even more money to play, just in empty arenas.
To compensate for the inconvenience, season ticket holders will get a pair of 3D “reality” goggles for the ultimate viewing pleasure of the game. Courtside seatings are now possible from the comfort of your own home, even away games too. It just will cost you more; the 3d goggles will be arranged just like ticket seating in arenas.
The fans from all over the world can now go to NBA finals games. The Arenas get their cut, the t.v. gets their cut, and the fans experience games like never before. It’s a win-win for everyone involved. Ads and commercials will resume during timeouts also.Â
All of this will be possible once 5G becomes global as it already is in China. China is the NBA’s biggest market outside of the U.S. as well.
Expect the NFL to follow suit eventually. Sports fanatics can have no shame for standing for the national anthem while in their homes. No more 6 am tailgating in the freezing winter or getting a DUI while leaving the game.Â
In conclusion, these scenarios are a lot more possible than we give credit for. The media has used history to teach us that revolutions are blood wars between the state and its middle-lower class citizens. Never in a million years could we envision ourselves fighting against the revolution willingly. Lead by our impulsive desire to consume technology and being entertained.  Stay safe, independent thinkers, and remember, don’t drop the cell phone.Â
Are you for or against the revolution? Let us know your thoughts below in the comment section.